NSFW ratings and dealing with players

One thing I see happen time and time again in writing groups is that players absolutely demand that their sexual fantasies be written out and everyone subjected to reading them. Even when having it in the rules that a group is considered "Safe for Work", players just want to argue regardless.

For those Mods who've experienced this, how do you deal with it?


-Cat

 

If your group is "Safe for Work" any written sexual fantasy is in violation of your group policy. As an admin or a mod you have every right to tell them to stop, reference your guidelines and rules and warn them that if they continue they'll be banned. Simple as that.

Now - if it wasn't so simple I'll tell you how I handle mature content on an otherwise low rated site: For our site, we stand at a 1-1-1 to a 2-2-2 rating which is very suitable for work, however, we do allow mature content at 3-3-3 levels but we follow the JCINK rules of blocking that content as restricted for minors.

I also have an additional rule that any thread that contains mature content gets titled with a [M] at the beginning of the title so everyone knows what they're clicking on.

We also have an unspoken Trigger Warning guideline of adding above the restricted content something like "TW: Thread involves adult content, violence or other NSFW material." It's just plain polite.

If they forget the rules I kindly remind them to update it. If they just missed one post, I'll edit for them. In your case however, it just sounds like you need to be strict and firm and say "we don't work with that kind of content here."

 

My site is rated 2-2-2. Any subject can be approached, but no explicit details. For sex - yes, it happens, but it fades to black or gets glossed over, and focuses only on what's in people's heads/ hearts, not in their beds. This is an issue I wouldn't get persuaded to happen differently. Who wants mature scenes can write them on e-mails or google docs, individually between writers, without involving the site.

 

As a staff member, it's pretty easy to be honest. If a thread isn't in our Erotica section, I simply strike it down quickly by reminding them that any thread outside that section must be SFW. it's why we have that section. If people try to argue, it's repercussions for breaking site rules.

As a GM, almost just as simple. Same rules apply, with the addition I put it an extra note in the OP of my thread. I don't take to kindly to trying to enforce these wishes in my RP and I'll simply ask people to leave. If that does work, I report the user for not following both site rules as well as my personal game rules.

 

I honestly react the same by just striking it down as quick as possible. what is the 1-1-1 2-2-2 and 3-3-3 rating like what does each number mean?

 

When I'm running a site that doesn't allow graphic mature content like that I'm a little heavy on the ban function. I'll give a single warning and a single violation after that is a temporary ban. Past that point I make it permanent. I've realized over time that players that are bound and determined to write graphic sexual content often won't take a hint. Easier to weed them out and save the headache.

 

See the explanation here.

 

We're 3-2-3 and we're a premium site on Jcink but we'd still prefer for everyone to fade to black, gloss over it as well. I know we have a member who doesn't care and would prefer it to be written out. Obviously not something that flies, so we fade to black. So far everyone has been able to follow the rules and if they go elsewhere to finish out said scene then yeah. It's on them on another platform, Skype, Discord, whatever it is.

 

With this what I do is note in my rules that anything sexual is taken to PM and that they can play it out there because my forums and sites are for anyone who wants to roleplay no matter their age. I do also warn them that if I catch sexual posts in the group threads that they will be deleted and the person put on a ban depending on the offense. If it happens enough I permanently ban that account and try to ban that IP address as well but some sites don't do that. So seeing the site rating stuff I guess you could say mine is a 3-0-3 or a 3-1-3 because I am fine with innuendos just not the act in my forums or on my sites due to having minors on them.

 

If you're on jcink, which I'm not going to assume, even letting it happen in PM is a violation if you don't pay for premium. I'm not sure about the rules anywhere else, but this is something I'm very knowledgeable about. The rules on jcink, that is.

 

I make my policy clear upfront and assume that the people signing up for the game are those that understand what is and isn't forbidden. If you've ever played the game Munchkin there's this line in it that says "if a question comes up and there isn't an answer in the rules, the person that owns the game gets to make up the answer". I'm paraphrasing but you see the same thing happen in tabletop games where a player tries to buck the GM and the GM has no recourse but to say "my game, my rules". You can quibble about trying to respond to every disagreement through the play itself but sometimes, some people just need to get the door shut on them before they shape up, if ever

Generally speaking it isn't worth sacrificing the comfort/expectations of the group to appease one or two players, depending on the size of your game

 

Take it to PMs. My site is 2-1-2 with the 1 being sexual activity. We don't need to know all their "character's" kinks.

 

We allow it actually. partially it's for post count for our levelling system and whatnot.

 

As a game master: I put an end to it swiftly by pointing out the rule where I state to keep the IC SFW. I always include it because I don't like smut-games or feel this need to write out the sex between characters on an open source forum. I don't mind reading it, seeing I'm an admin and we have a 3/3/3 forum, but I usually don't write it.

As a moderator / administrator: I point out 1 or 2 site-rules to the parties involved.
1. Anything outside our Erotica sections is automatically fade-to-black. Wanna get nasty? Take it to the right forum or DM
2. The GM word is law. If a GM prohibits the smut-scenes (from the get go), I'm gonna side with the GM. It's their play. If they stated the play is SFW, it's SFW

The only exception would be if/when the GM allows the smut to be written from one player / couple of character, and not from the others. Which would indicated favoritism.
Unless a rule change has been discussed and communicated (for whatever reason) towards the players.

 

If it's against your community rules, then the member has a choice. Follow the content restrictions, or find another place to play. And if someone is going to argue the point with me over what should be allowed on my community?

You bet they'll be finding somewhere else to play.

There are sites out there for that, and there's nothing wrong with that---it just doesn't fit in all communities. Personally, I don't enjoy stumbling across graphic sexual content when I don't intend to, and so I ask my members to play that content in an area that is sectioned off to protect minors (and me!) from reading something they don't really want to.

I've never had a problem with anyone fighting me over it. Someone who is going to demand that content be placed where anyone and everyone can see it... probably isn't a good fit for that particular community.

 

Give them a stern warning for the first violation. If they pitch a fit, I'll soft-ban for a day for them to cool off. Any further violations gets 1 week ban, then perma-ban.

 

I agree with the Trigger Warnings method, for most items - but even then a lot of players have a tendency to "forget" to put warnings in their posts. As a game master, it's best to enforce your board rating if it is not 18+. Players who complain should find another board if they truly want to roleplay out graphic scenes. I've played games on PG-13 boards before that have secondary, secret 18+ boards for those who want to partake - that's another way to go about it, I suppose.
I'm flexible in that I'll play either, but as a GM I'm firm about the general rating if it is indeed PG or PG-13. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down, alas.

 

I run an 18+ 3/3/3 site, but folks are still required to label threads Mature and include Trigger Warnings in thread tags for excessive violence or explicit sexual situations out of respect for some of our players who are not at all interested in reading that. In the beginning, we had a separate locked Adult forum where players had to request access to read or write in that forum, but the splitting up of threads and the need to add a new user role eventually grew stale and we integrated mature threads into the mainstream forum.

That said, if you've got rules, stick to your guns. Always. If there are folks who can't follow your rules, whether because of your forum host or because it's how you want to run your forum, then those people probably don't need to be writing with you. Respect is a valuable thing, and it hurts everyone when there are players who aren't writing according to your forum's standards.

Talking about that sort of thing with them via PM or in chat is a good start, but if they're not really concerned about the rest of the player base, they may eventually just end up banned and you shouldn't feel guilty for that one bit. You've got a bunch of other folks to look out for!